random notes mental health quotes

random thoughts

So it hit me like a brick a month or two ago. What if its my responsibility to make myself happy?

It’s pretty obvious and its on Instagram quotes everywhere, I know, And plus I don’t really expect anyone specifically to make me feel happy or fulfilled, but I realized I was sitting around waiting for life to give me everything I wanted, as I sit and sulk about the things I never got. I know it’ll never be perfect, and I do think luck or chance are actual factors in the whole thing but what if I did my part well? It actually scares me a little to think about it. What if I worked harder than ever in school, work and even explored my hobbies and defended myself and surrounded myself only with people that bring me joy? What if I didn’t have to beat myself down every time something bad happens? What if I did everything I could to move on from the losses and focus on the people I have with me now? What if I allowed myself to grow mentally? Maybe if I did all or any of these I’d be a better human being. Or at least more than a small fraction of the person I used to be. And to be honest, I’ll never really know. But I can pull myself together and do everything I know I’m supposed to be doing and see if it works out in the future. Right? What if I’m the missing puzzle piece I’ve been looking for?

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